I keep running and running

away from any of the current choices I have to make.

I hide

I avoid

I run.

But when I just sit here, over the covers

I realize

that it is much safer for both of us

if my dreams

are the kind you can only catch

with long legs

and a butterfly net.

Stale

Old friendships can be comforting, and loving, and glad. Starting college I really appreciated being around my high school friends. They know me.

But right now I would prefer not to be known.

Because what they know is that

~I am immature

~That boys are my favorite topic of conservation

~That I liked someone who would never like me back

~What I have messed up

~What bothers me

~That I always argue

~That I can be mocked

I would like to bloom. I want to spread my wings

I want to have the ability to struggle, without my past blunders dragging me down.

Just let me be someone new. Let me be grown. I want to be respected and loved, not ridiculed and poked at. Look at me with new eyes, because right now I am tired of being seen as a foolish girl. I have made life choices that prove me to be a women.

Let me be.

This elegant contradiction of a person.

Relief

The world is hot and full of dizzying designs

they swirl

and flair

and stun my mind.

The humid air frizzes ever particle around.

But there is a night sky

with calm, cool stars.

The grass is soft and new

everything is fresh

and everything is you.

Made Broken

Endless amounts of advise

built in from past errors

made

by the characters I befriend in novels.

Long and a long stride to match

given to me by the

hands

of God.

An over analytical mind

scanning over faces and emotion

longing

to know the stories and the feelings.

Where will this world lead

the bubble I was made in

pops

and I stop my shiny ascent.

And fall back down.

down.

To where earth is shattered.

A sick excuses for a women

My legs are folded

your arms are wrapped around my hips

and every part of me knows

that I am yours.