How far we have all come. Yet how everything is still just the same. My head rests on the lap of a friend I am so close to, yet have been so far away from. It is a distance that will never be scaled. We used to be watertight, but now our friendship rings a hollow, lonesome sound. A sound that takes you back to the times when we laughed in your car. Our hands laying luxuriously in the spring air. Feeling sexy in our track shorts. Singing with the radio. There was nothing that I wouldn't have done for you. We were going to be together forever. I suppose it is funny to look back on now, because a 16 year-old's forever is not to long. Now, two years later, tears prickle behind my eyes at the sight of you. You seem so whole without me, yet I am broken with need. Need to talk to someone who cares and understands. Need to be given even the smallest fraction of your time.
The one across from me giggles. She is swelling with a new found joy, yet also with a shameful joy. We pamper her and talk about plans for the baby. She ladles out helpful advice. Never have I known someone with a bigger heart than hers. Never has she said a untrue unkindness. We all look upon her with worry, because the man who she is with, treats her like shit. Plans to egg his house if he does not cooperate fill or hearts and minds and flow out in laughter. Please recognize your beauty Ray. For it is worth something, as you are.
Back from St. Lewis, another girl smiles. We all wonder what she thinks about, because she is the smartest of us all. Not only has she gone the farthest away, but she goes to the most highly ranked school out of the nine. when she smiles to herself, and we wonder what humorous intellectual predicament has found a way into her mind. We want to know about how things are, in a place so new, and she shares the smallest snippets to us, unaware of how much we miss her.
Ellyn simply sits. Brightly she shines. Hardly anyone notices how quietly she gets up to get Ray another glass of water, or serve the rest of us some of her delicious treats. Her quiet grace is a blessing to us all. Without her we would not be here, because she is really the driving force behind me wanting to host this sleepover in the first place. The thing about Ellyn is that she is like a warm light. She makes the rest of us look good. She is the perfect example of a Christian servant. Because she does not make you feel bad while she does serves you, instead you just feel cared for and loved.
Long brown hair drifts over the back of a girl chomping on crackers and dip. She slides it away from herself, demanding we take it away for good, but then goes in for seconds. I marvel in wonder at how much she eats yet at how slight she is. Out of all of us, she is the clumsiest, squeakiest, yet also the most stylish and the pretty. That is the word you think when you see her. Pretty. Not exotic, plain, or glamorous. There is no flashy wonder as she puts her retainer in and takes out her contacts. But she is in a constant state of prettiness. But she never acts it, which is much appreciated by all of us, that way we never have to feel ugly around her. She tells a story with her hands, while we all listen and watch as her hands dance from side to side and seem to tell a story of their own.
Next to her are two red heads. The first of which laughs a loud boisterous laugh. She speaks sarcasm fluently and is always first to correct you if you are wrong, to protect you if others are mocking you, and put you down a notch if you get cocky. She is truly a great asset to the group. She throws a pretzel at me and I retaliate by tossing my sock onto her face. She is our business women. She can tell anyone what to do with such authority, that they will do it without question.
The other red head laughs at her own joke. She laughs at her own stories. She brushes out her iridescently red hair with her creative hands. She always has the oddest experiences, clothing, and comments. She is going to either be the first to die (because of some crazy trip/risk she would take) or she will outlive us all (due to the fact that she laughs more than all of us combined.) Mind, she does not giggle. Her laugh is genuine, it emanates from her belly. I remember the cwi class we took our junior year, when I read her cursive writing and became envious of her whimsical writing style.
The last girl sits next to me on the couch. She is by far the funniest of all of us. Her quick comments set us laughing. She is so small and cute. No one I know has ever been able to resist just hugging her. She can get away with being a little bit mean, just because everyone always knows that it is 100% a joke. I do not know anyone else who can pull that off. She takes your flaws and makes you be able to laugh at them, and enjoy them, without ever feeling like you are lower than what you are. It is a skill that I would not mind having.
I have draped my love over these girls. Prayed for them, laughed with them, watched them grow as I grew, ran with them, ate 8 pounds of gummy worms with them, and let them change me. We are what our friends are, and that is something I am proud of. Thank God for my friends.
