Stale

Old friendships can be comforting, and loving, and glad. Starting college I really appreciated being around my high school friends. They know me.

But right now I would prefer not to be known.

Because what they know is that

~I am immature

~That boys are my favorite topic of conservation

~That I liked someone who would never like me back

~What I have messed up

~What bothers me

~That I always argue

~That I can be mocked

I would like to bloom. I want to spread my wings

I want to have the ability to struggle, without my past blunders dragging me down.

Just let me be someone new. Let me be grown. I want to be respected and loved, not ridiculed and poked at. Look at me with new eyes, because right now I am tired of being seen as a foolish girl. I have made life choices that prove me to be a women.

Let me be.

This elegant contradiction of a person.

Relief

The world is hot and full of dizzying designs

they swirl

and flair

and stun my mind.

The humid air frizzes ever particle around.

But there is a night sky

with calm, cool stars.

The grass is soft and new

everything is fresh

and everything is you.

Made Broken

Endless amounts of advise

built in from past errors

made

by the characters I befriend in novels.

Long and a long stride to match

given to me by the

hands

of God.

An over analytical mind

scanning over faces and emotion

longing

to know the stories and the feelings.

Where will this world lead

the bubble I was made in

pops

and I stop my shiny ascent.

And fall back down.

down.

To where earth is shattered.

A sick excuses for a women

My legs are folded

your arms are wrapped around my hips

and every part of me knows

that I am yours.

;)

Sometimes making out is all that is really on my mind.

Perhaps we have not seen that each other in a long while, or when we just recovered from a fight, or we just jumped off a bridge into a river, or I just watched Pretty Women and now I am super hyped up on chick porn.

I find my mind to be a lustful, passionate thing. The mere thought of his warm hands on my sides drawing circles as his mouth gently presses to mine in the wanting way mouths tend to press... sigh... makes me reach for the phone.

The phone call that ensues is not a wordy one. It is dipped in desire, which mutes whatever words flow from our conversation. Too much is happening for you to come over here and give me the kiss I want. I have too much homework, and you have work. The importance of the desired make out session is deemed a nonissue. I go back to my studies and you go to work.

But it does not help with the longing to have a kiss in this irretrievable moment. Next time I see you, I will retrieve it.

Wake up

They say that being in a relationship teaches more about yourself.

I learned that I am selfish, argumentative, and I talk a lot better than I act.

I love you

Your small warm hand in mine.

Your tie dye sweatshirt you got from our family trip to the ocean.

We poke our brother.

We laugh at our matching feet shape.

The world is a wonderful place for you.

The openness of your smile is like a fingerprint that God left for all to see.

I watch the wind flit across your face and brush your hair

as you look up at me.

There is no love as pure as this.