First on the First

One year ago I was jumping into a lake full of cold water. Great Lake water. One year ago I was trying to etch the shape of your body into my memory. Objectifying you in your swimming trunks. Analyzing the lines of your muscles. Wondering how someone this beautiful was not paused in time on a pedestal a museum amongst Greek gods.

One year ago I was frightened. What I feared was greater than any nightmare. My fear held a story in which a girl fell in love with a boy, and the boy (who had never loved anyone before) would only fancy himself feeling the same way... but would later realize his folly and leave the girl.

One year ago, after a long evening of holding hands and watching a movie you kissed me. A kiss which forever sealed that bubble of fear, until words would perhaps free that story. You leaned in and with a whispered though your lips met mine.

One year ago I thought what I was feeling was love. But I know now, that is like comparing a child to a mature adult. What I felt then was labor pains and relief. The birth of something new and perfect.